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My nine yr old son's birthfather is way out of the picture, but his wonderful birthmother is not. My son knows the bf's name, has seen pictures, knows where he lives, etc. I have to be vague b/c the rest of the story is not pretty. As the parent, you are the gatekeeper of information. Once a cat is out of the bag, you can't put it back. Of course, when my son is mature enough to be told about the sordid aspect of his bf's life, he will. It's his right to know. We feel very fortunate to have an open adoption with his birthmother and focus on that part. And we never ever say anything negative about his bf.
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