This really bothers me too! At first I let it go b/c I could admit there were times I almost caught myself referring to the birthmother as "mom" and I also didn't want to hurt feelings. However, as time went on it just hurt each time it happened so my DH and I decided to gently correct it. For instance, when my sister (who my family rarely ever didn't say birthmother/father) said "wouldn't you like to know how dad looked or something" (b/c our little guy is so stout), I just said something like "yes I bet his birthfather is a big guy" or something like that. In addition when my mil said (for about the fiftieth time) whether his mom had contacted us I tried to reply " no we haven't heard anymore from his birthmother". See what I mean? No need to be rude just a gentle correction will hopefully work. That being said, I've tried gentle with the FIL and if he doesn't catch on soon it's going to turn into a convo b/c I'm the momma around here!!
