[jemmawag]

Our situation is a bit different. We are extremely close to the fm. We speak everyday, email photos, exchange gifts, etc... She was being harrassed by extended family of ds for money and our personal info. This family is poor but have an established farm and do well compared to others in the area. We have helped them before with food, clothing, formula, etc. but had to stop due to the pressure being put on fm. We help out fm with fees for the visa process a couple of times a year because it gives her hope - she dreams of coming to visit ds she feels like he was her baby since he was with her 2 1/2 years. I cannot travel now due to my breast cancer diagnosis so it isn't like we can visit her like we planned. Things are bad down there now, food prices are high, she is struggling to keep her kids in school. Her dh's pay is cut in 1/2 every few months. She says she has no idea how they will survive next year. If she really needed something she would ask but so far has not, if she does I would be glad to help but I can't afford to do it regularly. She is upfront and honest and i trust her completely, to me she is family. Only you know what is right for you.