[shycar]

Well tomorrow is suppose to have been tpr, but we know thats not going to happen. To be honest I do undetstand the why, its just hard to see a child go through this and not get angry.

Dad was doing very very well. I was so proud of him and was happy he was going to get his baby back. All of us were shocked when dad dissapeared and left a message that he messed up. While he was gone he put himself in another program himself and has been clean since and has proof of it. Its mixed feeling I have. Im hoping this is for real this time. That he stays clean and able to care for his child. Yet Im angry that he walked away, Punky was the one that suffered. This in and out is not good for her.

When first placed mom was involved (dad has seen her I think once), then mom was mia and dad poped in. He did great and everything was moving smoothly. The day before she was suppose to go home dad go mia. Then mom pops in wanting her. Then mom goes Mia. They both are mia for 4 months, then dad pops in again. Im waiting to see when mom will come back.

That is what bothers me. Its the coming and leaving Punky's life. Punky has so much anger for such a young child. She has trust issues and now anxiety of me leaving her side. She starts to panic when we get to where visits are. She is suffering with all this back and forth and its breaking my heart. Of course kids have no rights at all.

Here the parents get at least 12 months to prove that everything was done before tpr. Sometimes tpr happens before 12 months, but that usually when parents are mia (considered abandonement). This case is only 10 1/2 months, so we are 1 1/2 month short. So more time will be given.

Either three things will happen. 1.Dad does well for a few months and mess up again and this will go again to tpr. 2. Dad does well and Punky is moved to his home and then ends up in foster care down the road (like his other kids). 3. He actually does well for the rest of his life and Punky grows up healthy and happy (I really doubt this just by his past, but miracles can happen). All will affect Punky 2 in a negative way. I just pray that Punky can stay strong and able to deal with all these changes in her life.