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Im so sorry. Reunion is so messed up, and no two are the same.
Im going to project here, I hope you do not mind.
I can honestly say that if my n mom had contacted me when I wa that age, I would have played all sorts of power trip/guilt games. Im NOT saying this is what she is doing, Im only relaying my personal feelings and how I was at that age. Meaning I was a know it all, stubborn girl, out to prove a point, at all times.
No matter how badly I missed and wanted my n family my entire life, I would have taken the "Im in the driver's seat, now, people" attitude.
Heck, I called Human Services at the age of 13 to get my original birth certificate! I started "searching" when I first knew I was adopted- looking at the faces of strangers...sort of that story- "Are YOU my Mother?"
But- I was and still am a control freak. I would have kept her at bay, so to speak, to maybe "try and teach her a lesson". I know that sounds messed up, but so is adoption, lol.So many conflicting feelings.
I did not have any control over her decision to give birth to me, nor did I have any say in my relinquishment- I will CERTAINLY have control over my reunion...or so I thought. That was my frame of mind.
Im only trying to show you that there are so so so many messed up games we play in our heads. Just give her time- put the ball in her court. She will come around.
I know it hurts. I really know....
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