I lost my first baby in Dec. 2000...would've been 7 this year (should've been born in late spring '01). I know it hasn't been nearly as long as yours, but even now, 8 years after the initial loss, I still grieve. I believe I always will. I lost others in between, and still grieve for them, too.
One thing is you cannot let that steal your joy from your child now, tho. I know it's very, very hard. Believe me. But you must learn to be able to grieve for your loss, but still rejoice with your child you have. They are separate and it is possible, and it's the only way I've found to handle it all. pm me if you need to,
sending a hug 
__________________
Mommy to C&C 
Still praying...for 1 more
10/17/07-Found you
10/22-It's official
11/12-rec COA
12/21-entire dossier rec'd by atty
12/22-subm for PA
1/23/08-agency says case in "grave jeopardy"
2/12-rec PA
2/15-FLOP-WHY 
8/6- begged agency for atty to establish case w/CNA
8/13-agency says 'not likely' b/c we didn't VISIT
...new atty=new hope
10/13-new atty talks to CNA->We qualify for regularization 
10/21-Confirmed COA from agency is not a COA. Never even filed
11/5-prior atty wants to "check" on us.Tells new atty he was never pd by agency! Agrees to give our file IF we release him of all liab 
1/6/09-rec the real COA! Petition to be filed with CNA tomorrow! 
2/10-'old' atty won't release our file...w/out PAYING a fee! So much for release of liability 
2/16-Agree to pay file ransom
4/29-File FINALLY given to new atty
5/19-CNA officially approves us to begin adoption; accepts dossier
NOW MORE HOOPS 
|