Hey Lovemy2boys! Much hugs to ya today!
(Please forgive how long my reply is - Yikes!!)
I just caught this thread. Good topic and discussion by all! I took some time answering as I wanted to honor your question because I can see from your words that it is an important subject you. So I tried to reach back and think of how I made my decision.
Let's see.....There is a short and immediate list of concerns for anyone who is pregnant and living at street poverty level (and I'm guessing that's the demographic your question addresses - hope I'm reading that right). I am doing this from memory and some things may have changed but knowing how society still hasn't addressed the issues of the poor, I'm realtively certain this list hasn't altered
that much. (Sorry...didn't mean to get off on a tangent - just old stuff that still burns in the mind.)
Anyway.....
The list is always - IMO - in this order: Housing, food, heat, clothing.
The clothing part is the easiest to solve. There are many charities who donote clothes; Salvation Army and St. Vincent de Paul coming to the top of my mind straight away. I am fairly certain (though Kathy would be better at corroberating this) that clothing is not an issue at this point for charitiable organizations. I.e., they still have enough to go around. For us northern folks, of course, the clothing issue extends itself to winter coats and boots but I believe those are just as easy to come by. And even if a person doesn't qualify for free clothing through churches and the like, these items are still quite cheap at thrift shops. So that part of the equation for a poor pregnant mom would be a relatively easy hurdle to overcome and being poor she would know that. In the larger issue of adoption, a pregnant mom would more than likely consider this but then cross it off as a top concern. (Again - from my experience only)
Housing: This is of course the most urgent problem and a difficult one. I'm not sure what the waiting list is for Section 8; if they put unwed pregnant women at the top of that list over, say, poor people with more than one child, or over senior citizens. Brenda Romanchik would probably know the answer to that. You might want to PM her and ask. I'm sure she'd have the information. The other type of housing.......uhmmm....I can't remember it's name but it's controlled-rent lower-income type of housing. That has a 5 year waiting list; it might be more now.
As for Section 8 itself; the first thing on a pregnant mom's mind would probably be (again - my experience only) how unsafe it is. That's not a judgement of the poor. I've been there - I understand the challenges. But it is a reality. Crime is more rampant in poor neighborhoods than in richer ones - there's no way around that. Section 8 is dismal and frightening and oftentimes overrun with drugs. Not a place a person would think of as optimal in raising a child.
Both those housing types would depend on a person's ability to qualify for state-funded aid for housing allowance. And if you didn't? (And kudos to you for pointing that out!)
Well then, there are apartments if you have the downpayment and the first month-and-half rent. Forgive me if I sound cynical (I hope not) but that kind of money is difficult for the poor to scrape together.
Then there are trailer parks - if you can qualify for the lot rent. And I hate to whip a dead horse but if anyone wants to know what trailer life is like for the poor - well then, watch 8 Mile. I'm not talking about manufactured housing communities here. I'm talking about reality. Real trailer parks filled with real people in desperate straights. Again - not the life I'd want for my child.
As for heat. Well that sort of falls in line. There are programs available but I know you've seen it on the news up here; poor women who've had their heat shut off and are reaching out to the community out of fear that their children will freeze to death.
Food: I've read lately that food banks are running out of stock 1/2 way through the month on any given month. There are many more hungry people in the U.S. today than there were when I was young.
Also, food stamps (again, if you qualify) are not covering even 2 weeks worth of food for a family of I believe 3 is the quote I read. Governer Granholm and her husband and kids went on food stamps voluntarily for I believe it was ten days. They were alloted the standard $49.00/week for family of 4 food stamp payment. Pretty scary.
And yes, babies get well-child food allotments but their mothers still have to be able to eat themselves. And then there's the challenge of finding work that will sustain the needs of both the mom and her child. ANd if you have a job that meets very basic requirements? Chances are your state assistance will be cut or removed. Also - babies won't stay babies. They will grow and need more food - good nutritious food. Fear of starvation is a terrible reality for the poor and it drives our decisions. I can't stress that enough. Food or the possiblity of my children not having it? That is a major decision-maker on a pregnant mom's decision to place - I lived that - I can tell you it was way up there for me.
It's a nightmare. A rat's wheel. THere are people that make it out of such poverty. They are either very lucky in some way or I would bet my last dollar that they have outside help through family or some such.
It's so so hard to get people to understand that poverty is a difficult situation to drag oneself out of and with a child? That's even more so - way past double. Not wanting to condemn my children to extreme poverty was for me a valid decision. I can't say if it was "good" or "bad"...just necessary to their survival and to mine.
Hope I didn't sound preachy. I didn't mean it to, honest.
Love and respect all you guys greatly!
Oh and you didn't sound argumentative Lovemy2Boys! You sounded like your usual kind and compassionate self! Love ya much!