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That is a very interesting question! I personally would assign a neutral party (preferably an attorney) to act as trustee for your son's affairs, someone who would not divulge personal info at any time if that is important to you. Good luck!
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“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” - Barbara Kingsolver
"If you have love, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." - Sir James M. Barrie
"Nothing's gonna change my world." - John Lennon
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