[sbaglio]

I agree with crick about using the bparents first names. It saves us a lot of grief. We never met DD's bfather, so when my parents ask about "The Father" (happens once in a blue moom), we know what they mean and are not offended. When people ask about "The Mother" (our families use her first name), we aren't offended at all because DD only has one mother, whom we love and have a relationship with. They have also met her, so that makes a difference.