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No offense, but this is his mother, not yours. Although you want to help him through this, he may have different ideas on what he really wants to do and is not verbalizing them with you.
I just met my siblings, and I wanted NO ONE with me. Just me and them. Not my children, not my partner- no one.
If there are boundaries she is crossing, he needs to be the one to tell her, not anyone else. I agree her behavior is a bit much and inappropriate, but unfortunately, it is not uncommon.
I highly suggest he be the one to let her know how he wants things, and what is appropriate. If you do it, she will probably not believe that is what her son wants.
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