[shan76]

I'm looking for some advice. My 6 year-old was caught with his hands under his best friend's dress at school today. When I talked to him about it, he claimed it was her idea (maybe, maybe not?), and that they have done that "two or six times." He says that he was looking at her underwear.

My son was sexually abused while in foster care but doesn't remember most of it, though he did start to show signs of acting out while he was in care. Since he has been with me, we have not had any major problems. However, I NEVER leave him alone with girls, or anyone younger than him.

The girl that he got in trouble with today, like I said, is his best friend. I had already noticed that she lacks modesty, and was limiting the amount of time they spend together. In fact, I had outright told him that he couldn't have play dates with her because I was concerned about her inappropriate behavior. (Things like getting completely naked in front of guests in order to put on a new costume.)

I can keep them apart outside of school, and the teacher has said he will not let them sit together at school or at lunch, but this is happening at recess, when it is an aide watching. (Yes the aide has seen it more than once, and yes I am furious that I didn't hear about it the first time!) As much as I want to, I can't be with him 24 hours a day to protect him from himself!

If any of you have dealt with a situation similar to this, or even if you haven't, I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice. I realize that the behavior is somewhat age appropriate, however his sexual experience is not age appropriate, and I'm not sure how to reconcile the two.

Thank you so much for your help!