[crick]

I don't think that open adoption equals co parenting, and I doubt that anyone really feels that way about their open adoptions. Having an opinion about their child wouldn't be co parenting, just means they might not agree with everything. They don't have to agree obviously, but any human is going to have feelings one way or another about something, especially their child. (Whether legally their child or not)

I'm a firm believer in less openess when it comes to foster adoption. Does it work for some? Of course it does.

I personally would not want an open adoption with my kids bparents though. And yes, in the beginning that was all because of my selfish reasons. I was mom and that was that. Psssshhh on those two that couldn't and didn't deserve to keep their children because of their actions.

It's been 6 years now and I've mellowed a bit on my feelings towards their bparents. I have learned too that it's not about me and my wants. It's about my kids. My oldest son would run away in fear if I said "Guess who is coming to visit!" and my dd would say "Okay" My younger two would say "Huh?" lol.

In time, I suspect we'll open that door, but I do believe it's based on individual situations and it's best to look at it from the child's pov. My selfishness ended up being the right decision, but not for the reasons I thought it was right for. So again...really look at it from the child's pov. I do regret not having ANY open door, that much I'll say. I do wish I had letter contact through a pobox. That really would make a world of difference in so many ways for my dd.