[elledarcy]

Lately I’m been annoyed about people who ask about my DD’s birthfamily and use the words “mom” and “dad” to mean my DD’s birthparents. I don’t mind so much from strangers as they maybe don’t know what the proper terms are, but from my own family who knows how I feel about it, this is annoying.

My mother and father and several of my DH’s siblings ask about DD’s “mom” and “dad,” even after I’ve corrected them with a gentle, “we say birthmom and birthdad or use their first names.” My parents think I am overreacting, but I am really touchy about it. Next time someone asks me how tall DD’s “mom” is or what color her “dad’s” hair is, I am so tempted to say, “well, I’m 5’ 5’’, but I don’t know that that will have much affect on DD.”

I do not wish to take away from the contribution that DD’s birthparents have made to her life, but I also don’t think that someone who has never even met my DD (though the oppertunity has been offered) merits the title of “dad.” DH and I are the ones in the trenches doing all the mom and dad stuff, so I guess I feel like I don’t want to share the “mom” and “dad” title with two people who, while special in DD’s life, don’t fill that role.

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I being silly? How can I convince my family to use the terms we plan on using?