[Nalansor]

Oh, thank you! My wording did make it sound like a pre-agreement, and that's not the case. We would have left her in another state, but the family cautioned us that her side of the family would only take advantage of her if we sent her money or set her up in her own apartment. To give you an idea of what she came from, her aunt told her (before she left), "Now you won't have to worry where your next meal will come from."

Since we had a 20 + hour drive home, we had a lot of time to talk and get to know each other.

She is still receiving counseling though she doesn't want it. She often does not answer phone calls from her counselors.

I cannot imagine the pain she and other birthmothers feel, even if she says she's perfectly okay with this. I know it has to hurt somehow, somewhere. Maybe her recent actions are an expression of that suppressed hurt? And if so, how do we help her to recognize and then move through that grief?

I've been in touch with her counselor, so she is aware of the situation. But time is still ticking and hubby and I don't have the funds to support her if she can't pull her own by the end of December. Are you suggesting that we allow her to move back in? I do not want to be insensitive to her needs.

EDIT: even if I am frustrated with her, that is