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Everybody here has given you great advice. Seriously.
I brought my son home at 2-1/2 after the 2003 Hague mess. I did nothing that any of the previous posters did. Maybe it's because I am a single man, or maybe it's because I'm an idiot.
What I did do was that I went down to Guatemala at every opportunity that I could, and that I could barely afford. So my son knew me. He was comfortable with me. Transitioning from the FM was not an option, unfortunately. I would have gladly done that.
What I did when pick up finally came was hold him tight. I'd sing (badly) to him, but softly. I never left him, or he me. When we got home, I took full maternity leave (not easy for a man) and gradually separated from him, always coming home and making a big deal out of coming home, so that he knew I always would.
I know it was a hard transition, but I know it was made easier that he knew me from the start. I'm not sure that tapes and pictures do the trick-- although they certainly help.
Now almost five years later, my son and I are unusually close, and I am trying to push him away from me a little (supervised, of course). But we started off with each other with a jolt to both of us. The thing that seemed to ease everything was just gentle togetherness. Bonding with your child is far more important than anything any of us do for a living.
I think the answer with a toddler is just time, love and patience.
Bob
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