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I was told my expenses could be paid for, but I refused. I was working and had health insurance, so I paid for everything. I even paid for the costs which my insurance did not cover, all my doctor's appointments, prenatal vitamins, maternity clothes, etc. I felt I could have asked for reimbursement of what my insurance did not cover, and other out of pocket expenses, however, I felt it would be like selling my baby. I didn't want to take a dime.
This is a tough situation. Because even if the e-mom knows and understands she will have to pay back expenses if she changes her mind, so many are adamant about placing, but have no idea how they will feel after the baby is born (people tried to tell me I'd bond with my son and it would be hard to go through with the adoption and I INSISTED I would be able to hand him over NO PROBLEM--boy was I in for a rude awakening!). I still placed and did not feel coerced at all, but if I had wanted to parent and money was involved that needed to be paid back, it would be very hard to come up with that cash. Paying back money should NOT be used as a way to pressure a woman into relinquishing. She should not be forced to pay it back before she can take her baby home, for instance. Any payment plan should take into consideration her ability to pay, and chances are, if she needed the funds in the first place, she will not be able to make even minimal payments with a new baby to support. It is probably best that no money exchanges hands in the first place, and if the emom needs help, it should be found from other sources that are not involved in the adoption.
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