[MamaChinch]

I agree with Christina, whether or not for AD reasons, because it's an "R" rated, becuase you don't like the violence...etc....you have the right to decide which movies your kids will watch, period. And you do not want your children to see this movie.
I would tell her you do not wish for them to see this movie when you are there, and if she refuses, then you have to make the decision if you go or not. It's difficult, but your children are first and foremost right now and you are dealing with enough as a family and have been working very hard.
I took this movie out my house, too! My neighbor gave me a bunch of videos as her kids are older and Annie was in the box. Stupid me, didn't even think about it, and thought, "oh, kids, music...she will like it!" And she did!! Then I sat down one day and watched it with her and realized..."oh crap, we can't keep watchng this." At least this was last year when she was two and she has not yet asked any questions, but even with no AD issues I decided she will not watch this movie, as have other APs on this board. You can tell your mother that other parents also don't allow this movie...well, for what it's worth...
Good luck with allof this, family can be quite a bear sometimes!