[potentialsinglemom]

I think this is a good question too. I hope to gain insight from the responses.

Okay, I am going to sound a little Selfish, so be prepared. Open adoption, I feel, can and does work. Co-parenting with BP can and does work. My personal preference when it becomes my turn to adopt from foster care is NOT have an open adoption or co-parent with BP. I do not want to be subjected to possible sabotage by the BP's. If I tell my child "no", and he/she goes to visit the co-parenting BP and complains about me saying "no", I would probably catch a case if my child decided he could move in with the co-parent/BP and the BP allows it with no discussion. I have seen this happen numerous times. I have had a couple client sit in my office and cry because the BP worked against them instead of with them.

Semi-open (cards and pictures a couple times a year) is workable. After the child gets to be a certain age, I would allow the child to receive the letters privately. Well, that is the plan. I would still struggle with that because the fear of BP crossing the line will always be there.