[melissa_bear003]

I'm the one that stated it on the aparents board, so I thought I'd comment here as well.

I think its completely and totally unfair and ridiculous that paps can pay thousands of dollars in support and health care monies, and basically be told too bad, try again. How many people can afford to take that ride, time and again?

I completely agree and support that a woman has the right to change her mind and parent. No question.

But, when someone has paid your living expenses, health care, etc, then yes, I do think you should be obligated to pay that back. Why should the paps have to be out that money? Why should anyone be financially supported for months? It is a style of contract (or at least, that's my view of it) and while either party can cancel at any time, I really think its wrong that paps are the ones that end up financially stuck. I think it should be viewed as a sort of loan, to be paid if the contract is cancelled. I don't find that coersion, but being responsible for one's actions. If you accept money, knowing that the intention is to adopt, then decide to parent, then yes, you should pay the money back. The funds aren't a gift, they're viewed as a part of the pap's responsibility (in some areas).

I'm all for complete elimination of any sort of financial support for paps. I think it would go a long way to stopping those women who are simply scamming parents for money, and never honestly considered placing their child.

ETA: I'm not saying anything NEAR : Pay before the child goes home. I'm saying, "Pay back $X a month" or whatever, same as you would with any loan.