I don't have any advice, but just wanted to send some hugs your way
I am so sorry you are going through so much and have had so many struggles to face in your life. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it all must be. I am happy you have found this forum to reach out to. There are people here who definitely understand, or at least can show you some much needed empathy and support.
You write very nicely, by the way, and seem to have a very good head on your shoulders. I hope things will become less stressful for you soon.