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How sad that you are so conflicted about this. Can you tell your a-family how you really feel? Ir sounds like they are thoughtless about this, if they just don't think about/talk about adoption, they probably aren't aware of how hard this is for you. Or please find a counsellor or therapist to talk to about this; you shouldn't have to suffer each year. Who know why your birth mom had to make this decision...all I can tell you is that you are precious, you are worthy of love, and though your friends and family don't know what you want, I'm sure they care a great deal about you.
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