[dac_cincy]

My son was 21.5 month sold when he came home. I asked his foster mother to give bck all the toys I sent down and the blanket I made for him- he was her last foster child.
I also asked for very specific clothes back so that he had familiar things.
I called weekly in the 3 months leading up to him cming home, I sent a video (DVD) of me reading stories to him. The foster fmaily showed him pictures (I have pictures of him looking at my picture).

At thehomecoming trip-the foster family came to the hotel each day- which was not the easiest thing for my son, but it helped them some what. It was not easy for me becase we never got into a routinue for us while they were there- but the weaver craft book recommended it and I do see the benefit now as I have lots of pictures from that trip with all of us in the picture.
Once home, we called every week- even if it was just me talking. I had to take down the pictures of the foster family becuase Bug cried so much when he saw them. But 3-6 months later I was able to take the pictures back out and he was fine with them. He still recognizes them in the pictures and we talk once a month by phone now.
I did send down pictures of our house and his room- but I don't think it made any sense to him

To be honest, I don't knwo that anything actuall prepars young children for the change that occurs- certainly talking about getting new family and going to a new place are great ideas- but they do not have the frame of reference to understand the permancy of what is going to happen. So I would say being open to continued contact with the foster family once you are home- to help the foster family and your child through the transition is a great thing.

Also, limit visitors once you come home- or at least limit who does the caregiving. Bug and I went stir crazy the first 2 weeks, because he was used to 5 other people in the house and iI was not used to enteratining a toddler 24/7. When I broke down and took him to my parents house and out to eat- he calmed down and so did I. but, I did all the changing, feeding, holding, etc.

Be prepared to be the target of alot of anger- your child might not be angry (and that would be wonderful), but if oyu prepare to be bitten, hit, kicked, etc you can quickly focus on what is triggering the behavior.

My spanish was from 20 years ago in high school and it served us well in the beginning. I made sure I repeated everything over and over with Bug- I think I never talked so much in my life. Within 2 weeks he was saying English words and responding to jsut English questions.

Love to you,
Deb