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I am an adoptive mom and hope you don't mind my reply.
Of course your birthday is a day to reflect and remember your birthmom. You two were together that day!
Your feelings are very real and raw. I hope you have someone in real life you can talk to about them. It helps to get them out and not bottle them out.
My birthday is also close to Christmas and growing up I felt shafted many times. Yours is more than that. It is no way a relfection of you or your being good enough.
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