[DFNY]

I think the things you're doing are great. Our DD will be 3.5 yrs old on Dec 8 and I'm hoping PINK will be this week with a visa appt next week. When we visited her for her 3rd birthday in June, we asked the foster mom to discuss her coming home to us. The FM tells me that when she sees an airplane, she points to it and says "mama" and "papa" and that she's going to be on the plane. However, she also said that the whole foster family was coming too. It breaks my heart thinking how much she'll miss them (and they, her). We do speak to her on the phone and tell her we're coming to bring her home but we have a specific timeframe--you may want to wait on that, perhaps, until you have a true idea of when you'll be there. But then again, when we've had occasional video calls (FM taking DD to internet cafe), we always tell her about coming home.

The FM will be returning many items to us so that she'll have those things for the transition home including a couple of dolls & her Build A Bear dog with our voices on it (if you haven't done one, you may want to consider it so you can record your voices on the paws--we did 2 10-sec recordings: one where I sing in Spanish, the other with my husband speaking to her in English). That Build A Bear dog was a great help to transition her to me in June: when she was holding on to the FM, I started singing her the 10-sec ditty to her and she turned, gave me a huge smile, and threw herself in my arms. She had recognized my voice and knew I was her "mami". The FF sings along with her so the song was very familiar to her.

Finally, I've asked the FM to choose an item of clothing (a handkerchief or a blouse or a small blanket) and sleep with it for about a week so it can have her scent. Then my DD will have something that can remind her of her FM, especially at bedtime. We may or may not need it but it will be there.

Wishing you the best of luck with bringing home your son and with his transition.

Damaris