[MamaS]

Originally Posted by melissa_bear003

See, this is the kind of thing that makes me just nuts about infant adoption. As far as I'm concerned, there should be some sort of legal contract stating that if Mom decides to parent, she's responsible to pay back every penny received by the paps. That would (I think) definitely cut down on some of the emoms that are only out to scam people. While I fully understand that the emom has every right to change her mind, its also completely unfair that the paps are out thousands of dollars. There should be something in place to protect paps.

Melissa, you are so right! Parents who adopt internationally are always careful to say that they are not "buying a baby" but are paying for the services of an agency, a translator, a lawyer, a foster parent, etc. So, when thousands of dollars are paid out for the feeding, clothing, housing, and medical care of an expectant mother, what are they paying for? A lottery ticket? Maybe they will come up a winner, and maybe they won't. Maybe expectant mother has already made her decision to keep, or to give the child to someone in her family, but it is still legal for her to rake in the money -- all the way to the hospital.
And before any first moms jump me, do I think they should be coerced into giving up the baby because they have taken money? No, I do not. But I think they should be faced with the financial results of their decision. Raising a child costs money, starting with child birth. You want to raise your child - here is your bill. If you can get government help, or your family will help, or birth father will help, great! But you can't lie to a desperate couple and scam them into paying for you to parent. It just makes me so angry!