[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by sergekel

If you don't mind my asking...what happened then?

Is it standard to keep the child and work on the attachment with attachment-specific therapy or does the child go to theraputic or RTC or what happens?

I emailed and called the cw for 2 months. The cw for the girls (there was also a 21 month old) felt that the 4 year was fine because she was affectionate with her at visits. I explained she was also super affectionate with the pizza delivery guy, neighbors, folks at the store, anyone who wasn't me. The cw would apologize when I told her that "Darlene" broke something and would offer to pay for it but I would say "That's not the point. She needs more help than I can give her". I couldn't explain to her what it was like to live with "Darlene" 24/7. Our house was in complete chaos and everything had something to do with "Darlene". Finally, I took time off from work hoping I could give her more attention while the kids were at daycare. Her behaviors escalated. I contacted an attachment therapist on my own and went over the specific things that were happening. He felt she needed a full time, stay at home parent, who could work with her 24/7 to develop attachment. Because I was a single mom, working full time and had 4 other children besides "Darlene", he didn't think my house was the best placement. I told the cw this and she said she hoped I would keep them. She said she might consider play therapy if things don't improve. Finally, I just called her and told her to find a new home for them. I then called the supervisor and told her what was going on, gave her the information from the attachment specialist and told her what "Darlene" would need in a new home in order to heal.


CPS doesn't like to label kids with any kind of behavior problem. It makes their job harder, they have to put the kids in a therapeutic home (which costs more money) and it makes it difficult to find a foster or adoptive placement. In my experience, they just bury their heads in the sand until the kid is out of control-THEN they look into getting the child help. "Darlene"s cw thought "Darlene" was just homesick and play therapy would "fix" her. If she was my only child, I would have kept her and paid for the attachment therapy myself. But with all the other kids and working full time, I wasn't the best placement for her. They moved her to another regular home. Then to an adoptive home. Then to another foster home when the adoptive home disrupted. Over her short life, she was moved dozens of times between various relatives and friends of the family before she was placed in foster care. I was her second foster placement (the first was overwhelmed but CPS said it was because she was new at fostering). "Darlene" lived with several different aunts, uncles & adults cousins from birth. Her history alone would clue someone in that she never had the opportunity to develop a lasting relationship with anyone. I don't know where she is now. I haven't seen her in about 4 months.