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I understand the feeling well, I lost my mom and it was horrible. Left a huge void in all of our lives. I lost my bmom a few years later. For me it was a very strange thing.The loss of my amom was devasting even though I was 38 when she died. My rock was gone, my safety net was gone.
Now that I am 51, i have had lots of time to reflect on the impact BOTH of them have had on my life. My amom's was obvious She was mom to me in every way. She nurtured the family and then the grandkids.....My values, stability, security all came from her. She was an awesome women that I don't think she ever knew how great she was! She was no saint(although we use to tease and call her St. Pat), she wa not perfect, she was definently a mother of the 60's.
In terms of my bmom, I reflect on the fact that we could not have had the realtionship of mother and daughter due to the timing and circumstanses of my birth. I know she missed that and I, on some level did too. It was actually very sad.
There is a time of feeling lost without your mother, no matter what your age is, that someone that does love you unconditioanlly, that has been present and is a huge part of your history is no longer there. Its ery hard....my condolences.
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