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Your SW really needs to get a backbone. She should tell them without a doubt that going to your home, showing up anywhere the kids are without consent from her or anything like that will be viewed as stalking by the court.
As for the missing the visit, they should have arranged a different day for the visit. Sometimes the foster family has other places to be that will interfere with the regular day and they should make the effort to find a suitable substitute day.
If bios show up at your house call the police asap. We informed our local office that we were foster parents so they would know when we called that it was a big problem. They were happy to know about us.
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