RavenSong
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So many of these statements apply to my own life. The ones that really resonate with me are laughing when I feel like crying; vacillating in decisions and emotions; letting others hurt me, over and over again; being confused about the nature of the problem.
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This from Melody Beatties daily reader.. The Language of Letting Go. Page 137
Boundaries
Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn’t hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us.
There is nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to get our attention. Sometimes, the pain and pushing are pointing towards a lesson. The lesson may be that we’ve become too controlling. Or maybe we’re being pushed to own our power to take care of ourselves. The issue is boundaries.
If something or somebody is pushing us to our limits, that’s exactly what’s happening: we’re being pushed to our limits. We can be grateful for the lesson that’s here to help us explore and set our boundaries.
Today, I will give myself permission to set the limits I want and need to set in my life.
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Deep down inside of me, I also think that I am not important enough to get help from my friends, or even a professional for that matter.
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She says (above) we are being pushed towards a lesson..
I believe it goes back to the childhood messages that children believe with no question.. I am not good enough.. all is wrong with me..
We need to sort that.. we need to not abandon ourselves..
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I have a horrible time making decisions. I'm always scared to death that I'll make the wrong decision. I remember as a kid, my mom used to tell me over and over that if I couldn't do something right the first time, not to do it at all. And, yes, I still can hear her saying that in my head all these years later. It's a broken record.... I feel like I'm frozen or paralyzed by inaction. I get scared of making a decision, and end up making none...
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Beattie says we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves.. to sort the tapes that go round and round in our heads.. understand that your mom was speaking from a mind that was wrong.. thoughts that were wrong..
Look at that statement “if I couldn't do something right the first time, not to do it at all”
We learn by our mistakes.. kids learn by their own mistakes.. doing it wrong to see how wrong it is.. that’s the proper way to develop and grow and become the functioning human we need to become in order to have a good life..
We learn and we don’t do it again..
Its like making amends for what we have done in our lives.. we say we are sorry and or we take responsibility and then don’t do it again..
But if we don’t see the mistake.. mistakes.. then where are we..
Your mom was wrong..
Jackie