Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jackiejdajda
Weak Boundaries
Codependents frequently:
-say they won’t tolerate certain behaviors from other people.
-gradually increase their tolerance until they can tolerate and do things they said they would never do.
-let others hurt them.
-wonder why they hurt so badly.
-complain, blame, and try to control while they continue to stand there.
-finally get angry.
-become totally intolerant..
-have an overall passive response to codependency—crying, hurt, helplessness.
-have an overall aggressive response to codependency—violence, anger, dominance.
-combine passive and aggressive responses.
-vacillate in decisions and emotions.
-laugh when they feel like crying.
-stay loyal to their compulsions and people even when it hurts.
-be ashamed about family, personal, or relationship problems.
-be confused about the nature of the problem.
-cover up, lie, and protect the problem.
-not seek help because they tell themselves the problem isn’t bad enough, or they aren’t important enough.
-wonder why the problem doesn’t go away..
Maybe we can share on any one of these..
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So many of these statements apply to my own life. The ones that really resonate with me are laughing when I feel like crying; vacillating in decisions and emotions; letting others hurt me, over and over again; being confused about the nature of the problem. Deep down inside of me, I also think that I am not important enough to get help from my friends, or even a professional for that matter.
I have a horrible time making decisions. I'm always scared to death that I'll make the wrong decision. I remember as a kid, my mom used to tell me over and over that if I couldn't do something right the first time, not to do it at all. And, yes, I still can hear her saying that in my head all these years later. It's a broken record.... I feel like I'm frozen or paralyzed by inaction. I get scared of making a decision, and end up making none...