[joskids]

I'm with those who think this isn't likely a good idea for your other children. This 15 year old may very well have jealous feelings toward the permanence your other children have had in your home. You have every right to teach your children conservative values, but assume this child's values have been VERY, VERY different and that he has been exposed to things that, even though they are not allowed in your home, they will stick in his mind and his desires. I say this because we tried to adopt 2 older children into our home. We didn't do it to be "kind" or to take on some kind of martyr role, although that's what others thought of us. Those that know better, that have dealt with older children who have suffered abuse, negelect, etc. (some that you will NOT know about), understand why we had to let those girls go.

I may sound harsh but I say this all to hope you can avoid the same disappointment and loss that we have felt, not being able to take an older child into our home with younger children. There may be exceptions to what I say. I, for one, would LOVE to believe there is still an older child out there who we could parent. But I don't count on it and I've since given up hoping for it. The children we now have in our home are our first commitment. I think, if you are a Christian family, you should pray on this and consider that this is going to be a very uphill battle. This 15 year old is NOT going to give up what he has gotten used to -- the music, the clothing, the language. These things provide some kind of "comfort" (I know, believe it or not), to him and he will sneak them later if he is sneaky now.

Please be careful not to cause heartache to your other children. It just isn't worth it. There are those that can take older children and do it well, albeit with many, many difficult days.

Listen to "Linny". She knows what she's talking about. Some would say I do too.

Best wishes,

Josie