[sunsetsky]

The part that I don't understand is why don't they ask more frequently. I think when the case worker stated in my case that it was the rule to ask at TPR we ask parents for a list of names. I never knew that. The fp of the sibling was offered my fc. The sister was place for less time and ended up being removed from the fp. So they could have moved my fc and now they would have siblings to place. I think it is shocking that in some states fp have no rights even after a year. I am not judging bio relatives but I think a law should be put in place that will get the relatives to come forward faster and cw to ask more frequently because they don't want the adoption overturned because they didn't want the extra work. I think it should be documented at the hearings. My case goes to status hearing every 3 months. I think bio relatives should show up and the cw should have to document efforts to locate bio relatives. California has defacto parents. I think this is excellent. This is not about the fp its about the child right to permanency. The fp is expressing the emotions that the child can not express until its to late. We are feeling the loss and abandonment that the child will feel when the are removed. The child may heal but the pain is real. The relatives feel the pain the child experience too. I think that there should be some room to let the fp express the fear and confusion that feel. It is a very powerless feeling to know she can't prevent this pain. This is the hardest thing I ever experience. Every time, I read a post like this it brings tears to eyes ... aching to my heart. Only the fp can understand the terror you feel but have to smile and act like everything is great. It is horrible, this time last year I waited 10 business days to find out if I would lose my baby. I was sick!! I didn't want to get out of bed. I fought back tears until I could put my child to bed. I watched him sleep. He was 14 months and I picked him up from the hospital (medically fragile). I just want to say I feel your pain and this is not about the relatives. To feel bad for the fp is not enough. I still have my baby I read post on here they are so so so sad. May God bless your family. Someone posted a pray for foster parents and that got me through the rough days.