[jalapeno]

Well, my pregnancy wasn't a surprise but I can identify with the "not feeling happy about it". I went through a whole range of emotions. For my first trimester I felt uneasy (like a low level dread). I assumed it was the hormones because there was really no reason I "should" have felt that. I felt guilty that my DD would someday wonder why we didn't choose adoption for the next child (of course then we were surprised with her bio brother anyway). I felt guilty that our bio son might someday wonder why pregnancy wasn't our first choice. I felt guilty that I didn't have as much energy to give to my first two babies. And guilty that I gave essentially no attention to my unborn child. There were some really tough months in there. But there were also times when I felt better. I hope you have some of those. It really will all work out for the best!!

Congratulations!!