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Old 11-24-2008, 12:02 PM
meghann meghann is offline
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I have no experience with this, but my cousin does. She was actually about 4 weeks pregnant when her older daughter was born. Her girls are exactly 8 months apart to the day.

I know she had a rough time with it at first. First of all, she wasn't sure it would "take" - she has a history of miscarriage. And then...she had a newborn at home. And she was terrified. I know she felt like she "should" be excited - and by the time her younger daughter was born she was already over-the-moon in love with her - but it took her a while to get there.

Something that I don't think she was prepared for was the comments. Not just the usual "I KNEW you'd get pregnant!" sort of thing - but after her younger daughter was born, someone actually asked her whether she was going to "put [her older daughter] back up for adoption." (I had to put that in quotes because that is exactly how it was said & I'm frankly disgusted having to type it.) She knew people would make stupid comments about "oh if you'd just relaxed" & all that, but she wasn't prepared for that one.

I wish you peace, and all the best in the coming months. I don't believe in "meant to be" but I do believe that we deal with whatever life gives us and that at the end of the day we look back & think we wouldn't have wanted it to be any different. I hope that is how this works for you.
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meghann
mama to Julia
born 11.26.2008
placed in our arms with love by her first mother, 11.27.2008





a different kind of family - living and writing in open adoption
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