[aclee]

I think it can take a while. When we were first starting our adoption journey a little over a year ago, I reached out to MANY agencies. We had an agency contact us almost immediatly in return saying they had an emom due in mid Feb with AA twins. Were we interested. The fees were about 5K (plus travel) outside our range. To go further in to debt for a situation where I would have to stop working and we'd have double the baby expenses wasn't something we could do...among other things we weren't comfortable with. Up front agency fees, a longer match than we wanted, concern about high traveling costs if the twins were in NICU or brn early etc. For several months, we looked at other situations, but I continued to recieve up dates on that emom as they found out the gender (two girls) and were still looking for a match for her. In January, only a few weeks before Ty's birth we heard that a couple that WAS matched with the emom had disrupted for a born baby. They asked us again to consider the emom, and again we said no. About a week later, we were matched with Ty.

I still think about them, and wonder. I know that twin baby girls found a home somewhere...I think about them, but when I see Tyler I know we did the right thing. We knew that given the situations, those girls weren't the right fit for our family. When it is the right baby, you'll know. You may always think about this baby, but it eases your mind to know that you allowed that baby to find it's "right" home too.