[DMT1211]

I would like to thank everyone for their input and advice concerning this matter. I believe that some of you have been very understanding in what we are going through but I have to say to Howdy I believe you are a little harsh and judgmental yourself. You should try to understand that we are trying to do a good thing and that we are trying to lead by example by the life that we lead everyday in front of our own children. As for your comment ( Do you consider this a one time choice? Are you likely to tell him next year that he is failing in conforming to the rules, ruining the whole Christian atmosphere of your home, and that by his behavior has 'chosen' to leave your family?) I think that is absurd for you to think that we would have him with us and be a part of our family for a year only to tell him we don't approve of him. I would expect better from a "Senior Member" than this. I asked for peoples opinion but if that is all you can come up with just keep your opinion to yourself. Yes we are a Christan family and yes we do want to help this young man but no we are not going to allow certain things in our home. ie. porn on the computer, even soft porn or anything close to it. And limit the games that consist of more than running around and killing everything in site with graphic detail. Music that talks about killing, going to hell, I hate you and wish you were dead, etc...And clothes that aren't appropriate to wear to a wedding, funeral, or a nice night out, etc. We will ask him to not wear a shirt that is offensive and may not even be allowed to be worn in a public school and yes we will expect him to follow our rules, and we don't expect him to like some of them, just as our other children have. I am sure that when you were a child you did not like all the rules your parents gave you either. We also will love him and care for him and be there for him even when things get hard if that is what he would like for us to be and do for him. I would like to address everyone else now and let them know that we had a talk with him last night on the way to take him back to the Children's Home from our weekend visit and we told him that he is a wonderful young man and that we would love to have him in our home as one of our children if he so chooses. We also told him that we understand that he has not had allot of say on things in his life like ( where he must live and who he must live with) and we told him that this is one decision that he does have control over at this point in his life and if he thinks we are not the right parents for him or if he does not feel comfortable at our house that we are adults and it won't hurt us if he did not want to live with us. We made sure he understood that while we would love for him to come live with us he should make this decision for him and not us. We told him we just want for him to be happy whether that be with us or with another family. We asked him not to make a decision now but to think about it and pray about it as well. I believe he has the right to make this decision for himself while I do think in some ways he may not be able to make an informed decision because he is only 15 I still think it is important for him to make it not us. We continue to talk to our own children to make sure they don't have any concerns or if any have come up. It is amazing to me how children can see things in a much more simple way and don't seem to get bogged down with the major concerns like adults tend to do. I just can't express how proud I am of all three of our children and their compassion for others. They want this to work for this young man and for our family. They want to and have opened their hearts to love him. We will continue to have open communication with them being mindful of any concerns that may come up in the future. Thanks again for all your advice and we will keep you posted.