RavenSong
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Gosh, do I have to pick just one person?
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We got lots of time here and I believe that every person triggers us.. or keeps us engaged.. in their own ways..
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My mom uses shame and guilt to manipulate me into doing what she wants. It seems like no matter how many times I've told myself that she's just pushing my buttons, I end up giving in to her. I keep thinking that I just haven't found the secret in life yet on how to have a healthy relationship with her.
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From Codependents No More.. page 45
REPRESSION
Many codependents:
-push their thoughts and feelings out of their awareness because of fear and guilt.
-become afraid to let themselves be who they are.
-appear rigid and controlled.
From Codependents Guide To The Twelve Steps.. Melody Beattie
Step one
Page 20
(I colored this paragraph in and underlined most of it.. )
“Now I’ve been recovering for a while. As I look back, I can see that although I didn’t feel my feelings—because I didn’t feel them—they, and my unmet needs, controlled me. They drove me, they propelled me. I lived in fear, and my response to that fear was to try and control everyone and everything around me.”
Fear is the undercurrent, the force, for much of what we do that we call control—control of others, ourselves, situations, circumstances, and timing.
So if we face that fear and face that guilt.. and know.. as the first step says.. we are powerless with it..
Page 6 same book
We admitted we were powerless over others—that our lives had become unmanageable..
Jackie