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You never gave up on him because you never accepted the match. He has a mother. He is still under her care (heck he hasnt' been born yet!) and may be for a long time, there is no way of knowing if she will parent, if she would have changed her mind.... And you never told his mother you would adopt him. Please don't take this on as your responsibility because it isn't.
As you know from reading this forum there are many many wonderful families aching to adopt a child and there will be a great family for this boy WHO WILL KNOW THE WHOLE STORY FROM THE START. Remember you were ready to take this match until his mother lied to you about her drug use. You did everything you could do...you have two very young boys who might have been neglected if this baby is born with the serious problems often associated with poly drug (and possible alcohol) abuse. That is why you are not looking to do a special needs adoption at this time. You declined a match you did not walk away (which also would have been understandable).
You may not find peace until you have your baby home in your arms because there is just no real peace in this process. It's fraught with anxiety unless you work very very hard to detach and find peace yourself. 2 cents!
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“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” - Barbara Kingsolver
"If you have love, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." - Sir James M. Barrie
"Nothing's gonna change my world." - John Lennon
Last edited by Stormster : 11-23-2008 at 08:56 AM.
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