[jules17]

As you know, we had to decline a match last week.

I keep waiting to "feel okay with it" and I am nowhere near there yet. I keep telling myself things like "But it's best for our family"...all of that said, I don't know that for sure. Now, I know it has only been a few days, but the thought that we could still change our minds keeps nagging at me.

I keep going back to that sweet baby and wondering if I am kidding myself about what the future would really be like. But I have to be fair to our children, us AND him.

So how does one know what is best? We are the type of people that once we commit to something, we commit heart, soul and forever. So we aren't taking this lightly.

I am wondering if my feelings are normal - is it normal to not totally know and yet know enough to make a decision?

I am struggling with "giving up" on him mostly, knowing he didn't ask for any of this.

Many thanks for any hope or clarity you can provide.