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Dear AlisonMarie,
Over the years - every once in a while - I'll cross paths with a younger person who looks somewhat like me or the birthfather of my children.
And at those moments, I can't help but wonder, can't help but say too myself "Is it you?"
I liken that experience to my mom's when she lost her 2nd husband. After he died, she'd tell me that she'd be in a mall or at a movie or something and she'd spot a man and think "My God it's him! He's alive!" and she'd find herself following that man even though she knew better.
Adoption is a sort of living death, IMO. A life-long grief and the mind plays terrible tricks on grieving people.
Hope that doesn't sound negative or judgemental or anything. Just letting you know that I respect where you're at with this and I understand how that happens.
You know I'm beginning to think that even if we find our children - even if we reunite with them - some pain never fades. It remains there in the heart - in a deep corner hidden from view.
Much peace your way today!
__________________
Janey
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