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there will probably always be a child with a bad attitude in her class and she needs to learn to deal with all types of people in the world.
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You're right...However, the question in my mind is, "What's reasonable to expect of a 3-year old child? When she's in 3rd grade you'll be able to expect a lot more of her on this issue. But when she's 3 her ability to process her own emotions, make cognitive distinctions about the behavior of other children, and filter out the behavior of others is much less than it will be when she's older. So I don't personally advocate a "they have to learn someday" attitude -- "someday" does not necessarily mean "today".
For me the question would be about her actual behavior (other than talking about P) now. In the past it sounds like her interactions with P were really affecting her emotionally and consequently behaviorally (e.g., picking on her brother). The fact that you saw such a sudden change when P moved up is noteworthy. (Although it is possible it's coincidental.) But how is it affecting her now other than talking about P? If it's just talking, then I wouldn't worry so much about it because she's processing what she's seeing in a healthy way. However, if you're seeing her act out in negative ways then finding some way to separate her from P might be a good thing.
Is it possible to have them in separate classrooms or is there only one room for their age group? Is it possible and appropriate for one of them to be in with younger or older kids as a way of separating them? I think you can raise this with the current daycare in a neutral way rather than painting P to be the "problem". "DD seems to be extra sensitive to P's behavior. I'm seeing ______ changes in her behavior and I'm concerned about how she seems very focused on P. Is it possible to work out a way for them to spend less time together so that they have a little distance from each other?" My point is that if you would otherwise keep your daughter in that daycare, there may be a solution that doesn't involve switching schools.
While it sounds like the daycare is doing a good job in many regards, their lack of positive intervention and support of P's parents is concerning. Of course, you have no way of knowing if they are doing things in private -- nor should you be told about that. But it is disturbing to think that they would sit by idly when a parent yells at her child in their presence.