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Originally Posted by DMT1211
I am just afraid that he will say that he wants to live with us but try to sneak these things in anyway.
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My opinion would be that undoubtably he will sneak those things.
It seems to me that if you plan to adopt a teenager, it is important to be flexible and tolerant, though not about activities that actually harm (as opposed to those than offend your beliefs). His identity is tied up with his likes and dislikes, he is at an age of discovering himself.
It seems wrong to tempt a 15 yr old with a home, even though he has the right to refuse he is still so young and needs a home, perhaps he will choose to have a home and then suffer because your family will disapprove of his preferences (and in his eyes disapprove of him).
I'm not sure you should tell a 15 yr old what to wear. Some control over a 15 yr old is appropriate, but if your standards are vastly more conservative than what the other kids at school wear, it would just be asking for problems to try to send him out in, say, a suit and tie (or whatever clothes he would feel were just as bad as that).
Do you consider this a one time choice? Are you likely to tell him next year that he is failing in conforming to the rules, ruining the whole Christian atmosphere of your home, and that by his behavior has 'chosen' to leave your family?
I think an adoption of a 15 yr old would only be an act of kindness if you can accept him as he is. Forcing (and making a kid choose between a home and not a home is force, IMHO) him to give up what he likes to listen to, watch, and wear seems to me to be asking for rebellion. Perhaps by your example you can influence him, or at least show him another path.