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Originally Posted By Jennifer

I understand and respect your choice. I'm sorry if I came across too strongly in my last post. I wasn't trying to tell you what to do. It is easy to make suggestions to other people when you aren't in their shoes. I apologize if I was insensitive to your situation in any way. I'm just sorry to see someone feel like they have to hide something that shouldn't have to be hidden. I am an adoptee who has been in reunion with my bmom for 13 years. In the beginning of my reunion things were very bumpy. My amom felt threatened by my bmom and that caused a lot of confusion and frustration. Now, 13 years later I chose not to discuss my bmom with my amom out of respect. It's not that I avoid the subject at all costs it is just that I don't make a point of brining it up. If I've had a visit with or telephone conversation with my bmom (Shirley) I don't keep it a secret but I also don't make an announcement about it. I fully understand your decision to respect your amom's feelings. I have had to do the same. As I said, I don't keep Shirley or my contact with her a secret but I don't force my relationship with her on my amom. I'm sorry to hear that your search was so costly and difficult but I am happy that you were persistent and I hope your reunion will bring you more ups than downs. The relationship I have with BOTH of my moms means the world to me. I love them both dearly and thank God for them daily. I hope this will be the same for you. There is a lot of good advice and support on this board. Carol is wonderful beyond words and it is because of her and others on this site that my relationship is as wonderful as it is with my bmom. I wish you the very best and you are in my prayers.