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I also have a child who would starve instead of giving in once it became a control battle. For her, starving isnt as bad as it would be for us. She was almost starved to death, so hunger was just a way of life. At the same time, she was terrified that she would not have food. This has lessened, but when she first came to us it was a real battle. We did several things - we had a box in fridge that was soley hers. It was filled with healthy snacks and she could help herself at any time. At mealtime, I would fix her plate and give her whatever we were having. I made sure to always have something that she really liked, even if it was applesauce as a side. Gave her a reasonable time to eat and then took her plate. It was her choice whether to finish it or not. Sometimes she would eat nothing and sometimes she would gorge unitl she threw up. She couldn't feel hunger in a normal way. She couldn't tell when she was full.
She eats in a much more heathy way now. She can tell when she is hungry and she stops when she is full. (most of the time)
I was told that we can't control what they put into their bodies and what comes out of their bodies.
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