[TxMom65]

My daughter has been with us 2 years. She is 10 and was in care since she was almost 4.
Drugs/neglect were the main issues. There was a step-grandfather who was a caregiver before she was removed. He tried to adopt the kids, was not able pass the home study and has always tried to keep contact.

When the kids were in foster care he did not respect boundaries. Once he found the foster parents' names and tracked them down and went to their house. He called the house.

But, this is the only person that my daughter has asked about seeing. She loved him and felt he kept her safe. She doesn't want to talk about her birth family at all but has asked for visits with him.

A few months ago she asked and I contacted the counselor who supervised the visits back then. She said no, she would not do it. Her reason is that he came to visits bringing gifts for my daughter but not the other siblings.

He called someone yesterday trying to get in touch with us. I called him and he said he has a life insurance policy that he wants to transfer to us for my daughter. I told him that she is doing well, making all A's, in many activities, ect. I told him that she loved him. He cried throughout most of the call. He never asked for a visit but I am wondering if we should.

People advise us that now that she is doing well we shouldn't rock the boat. I feel that I would hate to deny her the chance to say goodbye. He is in bad health and feels is doesn't have much time left. Of course, she will be upset but really, is it worse to mourn her whole life and wonder what has happened to him?

I need all perspectives on this. My gut feeling is to let her see him with a meeting prior telling him some ground rules. What do you think? If you see something I haven't, please tell me the truth.