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I'm not sure where my other post went....here it goes again...
My dd already had an eating disorder. She felt she was fat....in reality she had a distended belly from malnutrition....remember those commercials of ethiopian children from years ago? Yeah, that was her...
And she had been starving herself as a way to avoid missiong out on playing time, and also because she felt she was too fat....she was 4, and was the size of a two yr old. Even her hair was thin/balding and had stopped growing. It was maybe 2-3 inches long, and she'd never had a haircut in her life.
My doctor told me (at our initial check-up) that since I was the new adoptive parent, I had 30 days to get her weight up, and if I hadn't been the new parent...he would have hospitalized her that day, and reported me for abuse/neglect. If in 30 days her weight wasn't up enough, she would have been hospitalized for it.
I understand the food battle leading to more serious stuff, but my case (and the way this one sounds) is serious enough already to take extreme measures.
It was also a familiar battleground for her to let me know she was in charge.....no other adult had ever been in charge....so it was vitally improtant for me to be 100% in charge of all her choices for several months. I wouldn't even let her wipe herself after using the bathroom...I literally had my hand in every aspect of her life. Any control left to her, further cemented control battles in the future...It had to be removed completely, then re-issued sparingly over time.
It wasn't a matter of her not being hungry, it was a matter of her starving to death slowly..... her total caloric intake was probably less than 50 calories a day when I got her. I still have never been able to get even one ounce of fat on her. It all goes to growth and lean muscle mass. Her immune system is nearly impenetrable, and she has a "4 pack" now, and tight biceps.....I got to where she was healthy, eating nutritious, and average size, and then let her decide how much and how often she wants to eat.
It wasn't a battle, it simply wasn't up for discussion. 2 days of sitting down for breakfast (food of her choice) and not being able to play for hours, until lunch time (again food of her choice was served). And again sitting until Dinnertime....and she decided maybe the battle to gain more play time, needed a new strategy. She slowly began eating more and more and faster and faster, until months later it only took her an hour to finish her (still very small) meals. Fast forward 4 years, and after massive attention placed on the education of food being fuel and nutrition, she will eat an appropriate amount, in about 15-30 minutes and her body image has normalized. She no longer considers herself fat, and monitors her own healthy food choices...eating veggies first and avoiding too much sweets....
She can now accurately determine truthfully if she is hungry or not.
I think if the immediate health of the child is a definite issue, it's too high a price tag to pay just to avoid a control battle or future possible issues....
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