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See, for us, consequences were endured like NO SWEAT...so five minutes was an acceptable payment for poor behavior...it was not a deterrent.. So our time outs had to be longer...because her offenses were more claculated as they mentioned....she would decide to do a behavior based on what she expected me to do about it. I had to make the consequences more extreme than I would have normally liked them to be.
Also, time outs are really only effective as an attitude adjustment. Time-ins are a way of life when you lose trust. Which takes MUCH longer to earn back.
I also ground her from speaking when all she can do is spew hatred and sass, and anger.
When she feels she can control her mouth, she may have it back, but the first sign of disrespect gets the privilege revoked again (usually for a few hours).
Purposefu disobedience is an immediate Time in for a very long time. After a few hours (after a sincere apology) I start to loosen the reins, she may get to read in another room etc...but for each subsequent infraction I double the time.....so if she doesn't learn her lesson, I double the consequence the next time (like same behavior within the same day or week)....if a long time passes between issues, then I go back to the original...but I escalate consequences for sure...
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