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Don't suppose you're lucky enough to have a crisis nursery in the area? Or perhaps you could talk with DCFS & see if they have any individuals licensed for respite? I'm guessing you've already talked to the caseworker about options like this, but thought I would throw it out there just in case.
Don't know that I would term the kids behaviors as normal, but your stress is normal enough! Even as a respite provider, knowing I get to leave soon, I've reached the point where I've had to walk out of the room or call someone to back me up because I'm on the verge of loosing it with a child. Parents with "typical" children go through this, those dealing with children who have major behavioral issues don't have to be immune! I haven't seen any form that implies you can't FEEL like strangling a child, just the extensive training which indicates we can't actually DO it! As a therapist once told me when I frantically set up an emergency visit because hitting a certain child did cross my mind (after he shoved another child to the cement & then proceeded to punch him in the stomach--this was a four year old, a very large child, picking on a 3-year-old who was much smaller & hadn't done anything to instigate the incident) thoughts do NOT equal actions.
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