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I agree with all of the above.....
I was right to stick to my guns and show massive involvement with my child's teachers etc...(I also kept her home from pre-school)
Be HIGHLY visable, and have EVERYONE defer to you, if she asks them to meet her needs in ANY WAY.....their only response is, let's go ask your mom and see what she thinks.
No one else should meet her needs but you. No babysitters for the first few years at all! If you need a break, have an older playmate come to your house while you're there.
Don't say anything unless you're prepared to mean it. Get mental help for YOURSELF as well. Understand that you may not see her true character until weeks or months later. Don't give her everything she wants, even if you can afford it and she's well behaved. Approach her the way you would if you were raising an alien....because your way of life will be completely foreign to her....expect her to try to push you into the way she's used to things happening. Be an EXACT social example. If society won't put up with a behavior, you shouldn't either. Just because she's had a hard life, doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to create the tools she'll need later on.
Attachment is paramount, until she is securely attaching with you, nothing else will matter, or will work out.
The parent she needs may be quiite different than the parent you'll want to be, or your spouse wants to be. Be prepared to be who she needs, not what's most comfortable for you.
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