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Old 11-19-2008, 10:42 PM
wishfulthinker wishfulthinker is offline
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I can understand the anxiety you're feeling, but.......your plan tomorrow is very, very bad for many reasons. It is very disrespectful to show up on your bmom's doorstep and confront her out of the blue while demanding answers to all of your questions upon this first surprise meeting. Also, bringing along your husband and 2 friends will be extremely intimidating.

I agree with everyone here that initial contact should be via phone, letter or email. There is a very good possibility that she has never told her family about you - by just showing up at her doorstep, you carry the potential of hurting her and perhaps even destroying her family.

I do agree that we as adoptees have a right to know who our parents are and have our questions answered. I do not believe that our search/reunion should cause intentional pain or be conducted in a manner that is disrespectful.

Believe me, I totally understand you're anxious about meeting your bmom, but honestly you need to put more thought into how you go about contact. I think that when the time is right for a mutually agreed upon face to face meeting, it should be done privately at a neutral place.
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